I just knew we would find a 666 on her scalp
Lacking energy today, I popped over to Lileks’ blog hoping for mainline hit of pure, unadulterated, teeth-exploding, sugar rush and, of course, I found it:
Gnat wrote her first word today. She has decided that she’s going to be a writer; she got a notebook, a pen, and announced that she had to do homework. “I’m going to write a pome,” she said. “No, a direy. I need to write a story in my direy.” And this diary entry was an account of her day: going to the zoo with Livvy, seeing flamingos, riding the monorail, and being naughty when it was time to leave the sandbox.
First off, why does Lileks assume that Gnat would misspell ‘diary’ and ‘poem’? Granted the words would lose their “awwwww, isn’t she the most precious thing” factor, but doesn’t he think that someday, possibly when she is in her “Goth period”, Gnat will look back and wonder why her dad made her sound like Charly in Flowers For Algernon? Let’s face it, Lileks misspelled the words, not Gnat, probably in an effort to keep her down because he wasn’t going to let any three-and-a-half year old upstage him with all her fancy Goodnight Moon book learnin’ and notebook writin’-in.
Then there is this disturbing admission:
Then she wrote her name.
Highlight of my day. I should note that she wrote her name successfully on the previous page, but stalled halfway through this time, deciding to make the L a “box,” in which she drew “an ant, a heart, and a trumpet.” I fear I have a surrealist on my hands.
Take the Gnat Rorschach Test and tell me if you see “an ant, a heart, and a trumpet”.
Maybe it’s the evil times that we live in or possibly the evil mood that tends to possess me whenever I read Lileks, but that “L” that became a box sure looks like the devil (see the horns?) peering at us from a flaming portal to hell.
Gnat is the Anti-Christ.
Or “Saten”, as her dad might put it…