Keeping me safe from being forced to get a divorce and marry a man…

I see the fear of a queer planet has caused a group of Californians to gather together and become:

The Justice League of America.

…but that didn’t work out because the name was already taken and, besides, nobody had any superpowers except for that guy who can turn his eyelids inside out, so they settled for:

Campaign for California Families

…which doesn’t sound near as cool and the odds of a McDonalds Happy Meal tie-in with an action figure is problematic. Anyway, unbeknownst to my family and other families that I am acquainted with, the CCF is going to bat for us (as well as throwing the ball in a strong overhanded manner–like a boy, not some girly-throw, by God) and keeping homosexuals who threaten our way of living, from doing the one thing that we heterosexuals do better than them:start wars marriage.

Opponents of gay marriage went to court Friday to stop an extraordinary act of ongoing civil disobedience in which San Francisco has issued nearly 100 marriage licenses to gay couples.

Weddings were continuing Friday and over the long holiday weekend, despite the effort by the Campaign for California Families to obtain a restraining order that would prevent the city from issuing more licenses or performing more ceremonies inside City Hall.

But under normal legal procedures and because of Monday’s President?s Day holiday, it appeared unlikely that anyone would succeed in blocking the gay marriages before Tuesday.

“Frankly, it was a brilliant strategy. They got it done. The unfortunate fact is that these people who think they are married may find out Tuesday they are not,” Richard Ackerman, an attorney for the conservative group, said Friday.

Meaning that they will be living in (even more) sin over the long holiday weekend in San Francisco, and, frankly, isn’t that what you’d really prefer to be doing this weekend instead of going to see 50 First Dates after dinner at Red Lobster?

Here is the leader (or as they call him : Grand Monogamous Owner of the Pure and Heterosexual Penis) of the CCF, Randy Thomasson:

RANDY THOMASSON is founder and executive director of Campaign for California Families (CCF), a nonprofit, nonpartisan family issues organization standing up for moms and dads, grandparents, children, and concerned citizens statewide. Considered one of California’s top pro-family leaders, Randy is on the front lines fighting to restore family-friendly values to the nation’s most influential state.


A steadfast defender of family-friendly values, Randy has debated anti-family spokespersons on TV and radio, and has joined popular local and national talk-show hosts on their programs, such as Roger Hedgecock, Alan Colmes, Michael Reagan, John and Ken, Warren Duffy, Al Rantel, Ken and Company and Barbara Simpson. Randy has also been a guest on Dr. James Dobson’s national “Focus on the Family” radio program.

Currently, Randy is working to mobilize California’s pro-family majority to regain moral territory that has been stolen from families, and to protect the rights that citizens still have.

If it’s all the same with Randy (ironic name alert) I’m willing to sign over my portion of the moral territory, that was stolen from my family, to a nice gay couple. Hopefully that territory is the one currently occupied by my neighbors with the six kids all under the age of nine. I hate them.

Stupid breeders.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....