Hot girl on gir—hey…wait a minute… this isn’t hot at all!

Intrepid Internet surfers tired of repeated viewings of Janet Jackson’s boobal area may be a bit surprised when they google “bush on bush” and get this:

Like most of us, President Bush doesn’t have the facility for perfectly expressing his situation in conversation. But if he did, he might have said something like this to Tim Russert in the interview broadcast Sunday:

At which point, David Brooks takes it upon himself to translate the authentic western gibberish of President Gabby W. Johnson into something that Brooks thinks that the President would say if he were at least monolingual and didn’t suffer from adult ADD.

I did like this part:

I said I have found my mission and my moment, and it has cost me. It has cost me some of the bonds I had with average Americans. The secret of my political success was that voters sensed I was basically like them. But this mission, while elevating, is also a cocoon. I see Americans going about their business, watching the Super Bowl and reacting to it all. But I couldn’t watch most of the Super Bowl and I didn’t have a reaction to the whole halftime fiasco because I had to go to bed and be ready for the continuing war the next day. They say there is a cultural divide between the military and society. There is, and suddenly I am on the other side.

Yeah. I can just imagine Bush saying something like that.

Actually…no I can’t.

When it comes to imagination, David Brooks makes Walt Disney look like Carrot-Top.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....