Rank opportunism becomes schtick

Hey, you can’t blame a guy for trying to make a buck when his career is in a death-spiral and the best thing he’s got going is as third alternate on Celebrity Mole Branson, which must mean that we’re talking about Dennis Miller. The former “funnyman” who has lately been relegated to commentaries on Fox that make Neil Cavuto look like Dorothy Parker on steroids (see? anyone can do Miller esoterica) gets yet one more chance with his new show (breaking Tony Danza’s record) on CNBC starting later this month:

“People say I’ve slid to the right,” Mr. Miller said in his office at the NBC Studios in Burbank, speaking in his rat-a-tat-tat style. “Well, can you blame me? One of the biggest malfeasances of the left right now is the mislabeling of Hitler. Quit saying this guy is Hitler,” he said, referring to Mr. Bush. “Hitler is Hitler. That’s the quintessential evil in the history of the universe, and we’re throwing it around on MoveOn.org to win a contest. That’s grotesque to me.”

Mr. Miller, who was speaking about television advertisements submitted to a competition held by MoveOn.org Voter Fund, a liberal political group, was just getting started.

“Did you see the Democratic debate the other night?” he asked. “To me Dennis Kucinich’s politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger’s dream journal. And Clark? He’s a wizard in many ways, but when I hear him speak, it’s almost like he’s slumming. There’s a mensch discrepancy there. At least John Edwards, who to me is a reasonably shallow guy, at least he can dog-paddle around in that park and not look out of place.”

Keep in mind that CNBC is actually paying him for…well, whatever that was. I guess CNBC is going for that South Park Republican demographic. You know, the conservative youngsters who watch cartoons and listen to rap and are all cool and edgy and stuff.

Too bad they don’t exist.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....