I’m sorry. This is the line for hetero handouts. Your line is, well, actually you don’t have one…

Okay. As near as I can figure this article out, the Bush administration wants to spend $1.5 billion teaching “interpersonal skills” that “will sustain healthy marriages” because, apparently, having poor interpersonal skills leads people to get divorced and go the gay way.

Ronald T. Haskins, a Republican who has previously worked on Capitol Hill and at the White House under Mr. Bush, said, “A lot of conservatives are very pleased with the healthy marriage initiative.”

The proposal is the type of relatively inexpensive but politically potent initiative that appeals to White House officials at a time when they are squeezed by growing federal budget deficits.

It also plays to Mr. Bush’s desire to be viewed as a “compassionate conservative,” an image he sought to cultivate in his 2000 campaign. This year, administration officials said, Mr. Bush will probably visit programs trying to raise marriage rates in poor neighborhoods.

“The president loves to do that sort of thing in the inner city with black churches, and he’s very good at it,” a White House aide said.

Approximately $1 billion is currently slated for Kellogg Brown Root & Yenta, a subsidiary of Halliburton Industries.

Of course, not everyone qualifies for this compassionate program:

A major purpose, he said, is to help people “communicate about money, sex, child-raising and other difficult issues that come up in their relationships.”

Dr. Horn said that federal money for marriage promotion would be available only to heterosexual couples. As a federal official, he said, he is bound by a 1996 statute, the Defense of Marriage Act, which defined marriage for any program established by Congress. The law states, “The word `marriage’ means only a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife.”

But Dr. Horn said: “I don’t have any problem with the government providing support services to gay couples under other programs. If a gay couple had a child and they were poor, they might be eligible for food stamps or cash assistance.”

Thanks Dr. Horn. Don’t let your compassion hit you in the ass on the way out…

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....