I love Alison Berkley

I found this over at Drudge and it just made my weekend:

An Aspen Times columnist has been fired from her job as a snowboard instructor at Snowmass after mocking her students and their parents in a recent column.

In her Jan. 1 column, Alison Berkley described one student as a ”fat retarded kid” and ”whale boy,” and said students’ ”ultrawealthy” parents ”think I’m a miracle worker because their brain-dead kid actually got excited about something besides video games for the first time since the day she turned 13.”

Here’s the actual column:

Anyhoo, since I’m so good and can ride switch with one foot out of my binding and one arm tied behind my back, I help the fat retarded kid who can’t stand up on his own by “dancing” with him, holding his hands and riding board to board, guiding him down the rabbit mound so he can get the hang of what it feels like to ride on his snowboard instead of his face.

He’s heavy, so naturally we start to pick up some serious speed. I try the ol’, “Lean on your heels! Lean on your heels!” since that never works. Of course whale boy doesn’t get it, so we head straight down Butthole Mountain at Mach 6 and counting. When we finally crash, I generously land beneath him so the edges of his board slice across both my thighs and he has my nice little body to cushion his fall. Brilliant!

I used to teach girls gymnastics back in 1973 when Olga Korbut was all the rage. Everybody wanted their little girl to be Olga.

The horror…the horror….

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....