Kids resolve the darndest things

The local paper ran a collection of New Years resolutions from grade-schoolers today, some of which kind of cracked me up. Here’s a sample:

My New Year’s resolution is to not bug my brother because I bug him a whole lot and I’m going to try to stop bugging him because he doesn’t like it and he wants me to stop so I’m going to try.- Maria Angelina Trevino, 10

My New Year’s resolution is to stop people from eating pizza because it makes you fat. Or donuts. They are bad too. I want to stop these people.- Davonte Price, 8

My New Year’s resolution are changing my actions. I will like not to be so mean and get angry for everything. Today in the morning someone said to me, “Why are you so mean?” and I said, “I am not mean.”- Carlos Clemenz, 11

My New Year’s resolution is to stop talking a lot. I think the world would be better if I did.- Luke Evans, 9

This year I really want to try new foods and not back away from the ones that I usually push into the discard pile. Along with trying new foods I want to try my hand at cooking. I am not a very good cook and would like to make something a little more complicated than putting a bagel in the toaster or frozen french fries in the oven. And yes, I have burned Easy-Mac but that doesn’t mean that I can’t change. I hope 2004 will give me many opportunities to sample new foods with an open mind. I also wish to improve my culinary skills and make a dish that my family will enjoy.- Mary Gianola, 13

In this upcoming year, there are some things that I’d like to improve in my life. Respect for authority is one. I’ve been a sort of an anarchist in my middle school career, with many referrals and phone calls home. I hope to begin my adventure in high school with a good impression. Another thing I need to work on is my skills in math. I was great in math until somebody put letters in it. And last but not least, I need to improve on saving my money. Every cent of my allowance and any other money I make flies right out of my hands and into some stores profit.- Kenneth Pico, eighth grade.

Then there are a couple that just break your heart:

My 2004 resolution is to take care of my mom and my sister. I want to get straight A’s and play baseball like my dad did but then he passed away. That is my 2004 resolution.- James McNutt, 13

There are lots of things I want to accomplish next year. First, I want to stop fighting with my grandmother. I also want to stop being tormented by people. I don’t want to be insecure about myself. I don’t want to act as though I don’t belong anywhere because I’m made fun of all the time. Everyone belongs somewhere and I hope with the New Year I’ll fit in somewhere.- Callie, eighth grade.

…and this kid just cuts to the heart of the matter:

I never liked resolutions. I’ve always thought that just because it’s New Year, why should we change our life? Most people don’t change their life so they get all depressed and say “this year I’m going to change’ then the don’t again. It’s kiind of a mood killer. A New Year means new joy, and if your life’s fine what better joy than that don’t fix it if it’s OK. And when it breaks then don’t wait until a new year.- Chelsi Moreno, eight grade.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....