If you read this:

This was small change compared to how people felt about the geese. I now know that Mother Goose is a gross misrepresentation of the goose temperament. They bite, you know. This was news to me or I wouldn’t have brought 6 of them. They were the only animals I could get on short notice, besides the donkey. Six angry geese can do a lot of damage in a crowd of a hundred or so running screaming tots. The mothers were useless. You’d think they had never seen agitated water fowl before, or Animal Planet.

“Give them corn!”, I suggested, handing out some little bags I’ made ahead of schedule. They do that at the petting zoo and charge a dollar.

“That’ll be seventy five cents”, I told the mothers, fathers, and grandmothers who grabbed frantically at my proffered bags. Clearly a bargain, but the parents were livid. I kept my hand held out in expectation, but they didn’t pay. They hurled the entire bags toward the geese, who continued to honk and chase and bite.

…and don’t click on the link, then there is something wrong with you.

And, by the way, shouldn’t you be sitting down with your kids and reading them The Santaland Diaries?

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....