Oh great. Just when we were going to start doing the Electric Slide, the Rapture started…

This is so amazing that I don’t even know where to begin. Here’s the really good stuff:

As many as 1,200 students at Wheaton College will gather in the gym Friday night for the first real dance in the Christian school’s 143-year history.

Which explains why students in recent days have been seeking out classmates who know this stuff and looking for places where they can practice. And it explains why on Monday night and Tuesday night, dozens of students packed a room on campus for a quick dance lesson.

Andy Morgan, one of the students at the lesson, said he figured he was in no danger of embarrassing himself. He went to a high school that did not permit dancing. And when it came time to pick a college, he settled on a school that had not allowed social dancing since the war. The Civil War.


It was not until the 1960s that the school lifted the rule prohibiting students from going to movies. For generations, students were barred from dancing — on campus or off — unless it was with members of the same sex or a square dance. It was not until the 1990s that students and faculty were permitted to dance with spouses or relatives at family events such as weddings.

Nine months ago, the school lifted the ban altogether, freeing students to cut the rug on campus or off, at Chicago clubs or other places. (Wheaton also eased its ban on alcohol and smoking for faculty and staff. They can now drink and light up off campus, as long as it is not in front of undergraduates.)

Under the new set of rules, called the Community Covenant, students may dance, but should avoid behavior “which may be immodest, sinfully erotic or harmfully violent.”

Judging by what happened Monday night, meeting those criteria will not be a problem. There was no slithering going on, only students, some about as rigid as rakes, watching their feet as they tried to master some basic steps.

“They had a lot of fun, but they kind of approached it from almost an academic standpoint,” said Rich Nickel, a local dance instructor who helped get the students ready for the Rhythm Rockets’ lineup, which will feature such standards as “Sentimental Journey” and “Sunny Side of the Street.”


While some students say all the attention is ridiculous, others, like Jones, said it will ultimately prove positive for Wheaton, whose most famous graduate is probably the Rev. Billy Graham.

“It is really going to improve the outlook the rest of the world has of our students,” the 21-year-old said. “It makes Wheaton into a place where people don’t do so much thinking about what we aren’t allowed to do.”

Graham Claybrook, a senior, agreed: “It will be nice to be able to tell my friends that I go to a college that is fairly normal.

In honor of the students at Wheaton College, since the Rhythm Rockets probably won’t play it:

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she’s wearing
I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
Me so horny
Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz
Well use me, use me cuz you ain’t that average groupy

I’ve seen them dancin’
The hell with romancin’
She sweat, wet, got it goin’ like a turbo ‘Vette

I’m tired of magazines
saying flat butt’s the only thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back, so

Fellas (yeah), fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back

..and remember kids, back in the dorms by 9:30pm no matter how tingly your naughty parts feel…..



Yeah. Like I would tell you....