You must be taller than your walker to go on this ride

Seniors are up in arms about losing their discount at an amusement park:

Roller coasters that go upside down don’t faze 66-year-old Olga Schmitt. What makes her scream is having to pay more for season passes to Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom now that the owners are eliminating senior discounts at their parks nationwide, bucking an industry trend of increased marketing toward seniors.

SCHMITT AND HER husband have had season passes to the park near Allentown for years. She loved the rides, especially the roller coasters, and they both enjoy cooling off at the water park in the summer. But the couple is on a fixed income and will likely not go when the price increases next season.

“That would be the same as taking away your bread at our age,” said John Schmitt, 72, adding that the couple’s two season passes would cost almost twice as much next year.

Sandusky, Ohio-based Cedar Faire LP said the change will affect all its parks — Cedar Point, in Sandusky; Knotts Berry Farm in Buena Park, Calif.; Valleyfair, near Minneapolis, Minn.; Worlds of Fun, in Kansas City, Mo.; and Michigan’s Adventure near Muskegon, Mich.

Cedar Faire officials said they eliminated the discounts because seniors were becoming more active and no longer needed an incentive to visit their attractions.

“In the past the policy was because we felt there was less at the park for them to do,” said Brian Witherow, director of investor relations for Cedar Faire. “We see more of them doing more than they were doing before.”

Damn! Success is a bitch.

Popular senior rides at the park include:

~It’s A Small-Portions-Because-I-Don’t-Eat-So-Much-Anymore World

~Pirates of the Florida Gambling Cruise

~The Continually Blinking Left Turn Signal Autopia

~Indiana Jones and The Steamtable of Doom

~Big Thunder High Fiber Railroad

~The Haunted Mansion Where Uncle Saul, God Rest His Soul, Lives

~Incontinence Splash Mountain

~Mr. Toad’s I Thought I Was Hitting The Brake Wild Ride

~The Mad Teacup Party Where We Talk About Our Granchildren


~The Audio-Animatronic Matlock.

Thanks. I’ll be here all week…..



Yeah. Like I would tell you....