The aard doesn’t fall far from the vark

The ancient ancestor of all mammals that give birth to live young – including humans – probably had genetic similarities with the aardvark.

The elusive African mammal is a close match to our early cousin in the way its DNA is packaged into distinct bundles, or chromosomes, say scientists.

The last common ancestor of all placental mammals – possibly a shrew-like creature – scurried over the planet hundreds of millions of years ago.

Here’s one, spotted recently in some dense foliage in the Washington area. Careful. When startled she has been known to rip a man’s genitals off with her powerful mandibles. Just ask this guy, who had to start over as a woman. Well, sort of. There’s still that adams apple problem that needs to be dealt with…and the vestigial penile tissue that…

You know? I really don’t want to talk about this anymore…