We need a cognitive dissonance check on register 7, please….


There’s no room for a pregnant Midge at Wal-Mart.

The world’s largest retailer pulled Mattel’s pregnant Midge doll from store shelves. The doll is being sold as part of the “Happy Family” set that included husband Allan and a son doll Ryan.

“Customers said they were not happy with the pregnant Midge doll so Wal-Mart removed the entire Happy Family set,” said Melissa Berryhill, a spokeswoman for Wal-Mart. The sets were pulled two weeks ago.

The pregnant Midge doll wears a pink skirt and has a removable stomach, within which sits a baby. The box says “Mommy loves her new baby.” The dolls come with a cradle and other baby gear.

Okay. I have been in a Wal-Mart exactly once in my life and it appeared to my untrained eye that every woman in the store had at least six kids, in varying states of undress, in tow. So when I read this, I have to wonder how the average Wal-Mart shopper can be offended at a pregnant doll since the Wal-Mart demographic seems to dominated by breeding factories who seem to know as much about birth control as they do about causal anomalies in Kaluza–Klein gravity theories .

Of course the next question is: what will Mattel do with all these returned, knocked-up Midges? Maybe Operation Rescue will buy them up and save them.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....