If his name was Bush, he’d still be watching his wife strip for a living….

Henry Alfonso had the bad luck to be born with the wrong last name.

Henry Alfonso was arrested for allegedly dealing the prescription painkiller OxyContin. But he’s in prison now because a small adhesive patch on his arm tested positive for traces of cocaine.

Alfonso’s case is the first in Massachusetts to challenge the reliability of the sweat patches, which are used by federal courts across the country to test for various drugs, including cocaine, heroin, marijuana and methamphetamines.

Alfonso, 32, insists he has never used cocaine. He claims the six positive test results he has had since April were caused either by cocaine residue left in his apartment by a previous tenant or traces of the drug that may have been on cash his wife brought home from her job as a stripper.

Alfonso was arrested in December for allegedly attempting to buy OxyContin from an undercover agent and mailing OxyContin from Florida. After he was released on bail, probation officials began applying the patch on Alfonso each week to test him for drug use. Three months ago, after one of the patches tested positive for cocaine, Alfonso was sent to jail.

Bummer. This could have been him.

Given his choice…maybe not.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....