Disco Mike Taylor, hairdresser to the ranchers, jumps back into the race

Insisting that he is not “gay”, but is instead a “masochist”, Mike Taylor jumped back into the race against Max Baucus today. Quite frankly, there is more chance that there will be a Charles Pickering Night at the Apollo than there is of Taylor being competitive in the Montana race.

At a press conference, with the pulsating disco sounds of I Will Survive in the background, Taylor said:

On October 10th I suspended my campaign, facing continued damage to my family, the destruction of my reputation, and possible negative repercussions for my party and my entire state.

As I left, my heart was on the verge of breaking, to see the great work of democracy reduced to the slime, lies, and misrepresentations.

I went home and I prayed — for my family, my friends, and for all people of Montana who were hurt by the slanders and suggestions about me.

The message, then, became clear.

My campaign for Senate might be destroyed. My reputation might even be destroyed. But if I must go down, it should be in a good cause.

Note to Taylor: If you have been unjustly accused of being gay, try to refrain from using expressions like: “if I must go down”. Also “blowing a lead” and “What a fabulous bunch of ranchers you are! You’re all so butch, I could just eat you all up right here and now!” are also major no-no’s.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....