Stuck inside of Amherst with those Harvard Blues again…

As you may remember from last week, the state of Massachusetts (which I am really getting tired of typing) is looking for a new state tourism motto along the lines of Virginia is For Lovers or Alabama: Darwin’s Testing Ground. For our pals in Massachusetts, we present our Official State Motto finalists:

Even Ted can get a Lass…..When he comes to Mass
(He just has trouble getting her home)

Massachusetts – Don’t Laugh, or We’ll Sic the Salem Witches on You

Mass Kicks Ass!

A Great Place to Get Scrod

Without Us, McGovern Wouldn’t Have Won Anything.

Don’t Bother Us — We’ve Got A Haddock

Ass and Class…That’s Mass!

We’re Not New Hampshire

Nobody Loves You, But We’ve Got Beer

For cod and country

Floundering for nearly four centuries now

Home of That Other Clam Chowder (note: I grew up in Manhattan)

Rum, Romanism and Rebellion: It’s not just for breakfast anymore

Home of Springfield: for when Cooperstown just won’t do

Yankees without Steinbrenner

Massachusetts: Keeping Connecticut away from Vermont for over 300 years

Massachusetts: proud home of free speech for a whole bunch of decades now

No Chowdah for you!


Make Massachusetts your second ‘home’, just like Mitt Romney did!

Massachusetts-where you can find a CVS, Dunkin Donuts, and Starbucks on every corner!

“Massachusetts—Gary’s dad pronounces it “Massatusetts”

Visit Massachusetts. It’s not Mississippi.

Mass-achhoooo–setts. It’s nothing to sneeze at

Massachusetts: When you live here, you learn how to spell at least one really hard word correctly.

Massachusetts: the only state Texans hate worse than California!

Massachusetts, Gateway to Moby Dick

Massachusetts – the state George W Bush thinks has a whole lot of chusetts in it

Massachusetts: Wellesley Coeds!

Massachusetts: We’re not Puritans anymore.

Massachusetts: It’s easy to get to the Indian casinos in Connecticut from here.

…and our winner:

Massachusetts: Don’t Blame Us We Voted for Gore

Officials from the state may email me as to where to send the $300,000 check and I will forward it to the lucky winner minus the cost of my foosball table….and maybe that Thunderbirds DVD set that I’ve had my eye on…

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....