Another reason why it’s worth it to suscribe to to Top Five
If you don’t already have a subscription to Top Five…well, you should. It is consistently funny and a showcase for some of the really bright minds floating around out there.
Yesterday’s list is a keeper:
The Top 12 Least Convincing Reasons to Start a War
12> We’ve got a buttload o’ missiles about to go past their “use by” date.
11> Iraqis getting just a little too smug about having uninterrupted electricity for three months straight now.
10> There’s nothing *else* worth watching on TV this season.
9> Their leader employed a weapon of mass destruction last time he visited, completely laying waste to a Camp David bathroom.
8> They’re a bunch of dangerous, narrow-minded religious fanatics who totally refuse to embrace Jesus as their personal savior.
7> Peanut butter in our chocolate, chocolate in their peanut butter.
6> Our boys are gonna get blue balls if they don’t set off some ordnance soon!
5> Midterm elections are approaching and I desperately need to distract the traumatized populace from a collapsing economy ravaged by my gross incompetence. Er, I mean, wooooooooo1! Look at the bogeyman!
4> Jenna’s new boyfriend? Private First Class.
3> My god put too little oil under my country, and your god put too much under yours.
2> They’re just not sophisticated enough to entrust with nucular weapons.
and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Least Convincing Reason to Start a War…
1> Just noticed: Them guys is Araby-lookin’!
According to our intelligence offices in Guam, American Samoa and the US Virgin Islands, this aggressor plans to take over several small neighboring countries.
“Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya! You tried to kill my father. Prepare to die!”
Stabilizing the economy doesn’t seem to be working out so well.
“He was all, ‘Oh, yeah?’ and I was all, ‘Shut up!’ and he was all, ‘Make me.'”
Amway is in desperate need of new territories.
Dad had one.
Forgot to get secretary of defense anything for Columbus Day.
Rumsfeld keeps double-dog daring you to do it.