“Hi honey. I’ll be home late. I’m busy at the office fellating the President. Love you too.”

You know, for a guy with five kids and a wife at home, Bill Sammons sure spends a lot of time on his knees in front of Commander Bunnypants (for which Laura is eternally grateful, I might add). Noted closet-case Matt Drudge has another hot exclusive from Regnery Press, home of such noted authors as Tinfoil Bill Gertz, Gun Psycho Wayne LaPierre, and former Hillary stalker and current briquette Barbara Olson.

Here’s a typical Drudge snip:

President Bush watched in disbelief when New York Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton went to the Senate floor and brandished the infamous NEW YORK POST 9/11 headline: “BUSH KNEW”.

“What bothered me was the fact that somebody would be so irresponsible and kind of stirring up a bunch of wonderful Americans that somehow I wouldn’t have done what was necessary,” Bush reveals in a new book set for release. “Yes, it bothered me.”

“What bothered me was the fact that somebody would be so irresponsible and kind of stirring up a bunch of wonderful Americans that somehow I wouldn’t have done what was necessary”….Sigh. I haven’t made up my mind. Is that statement Churchill-ian or reminiscent of the musings of Pliny the Elder?

In FIGHTING BACK: THE WAR ON TERRORISM FROM INSIDE THE BUSH WHITE HOUSE, the president — for the first time — sounds off on critics who were “somehow questioning my courage in the face of danger” because he did not immediately return to the White House after the attacks.

Bush calls his detractors “elites, these kind of professor types that love to read their names in the newspaper,” author Bill Sammon reports.

What could be more “elitist” than using your goverment-paid-for private jet to run as far away from the action as possible, leaving your wife behind? Nobody questions Bush’s courage; based upon his desertion during the Viet Nam war, we already know he’s a chickenshit. For those who weren’t aware of his ingrained cowardice, just go back to the tape of his first speech after the attack when Karen had to pull him kicking and screaming from his hidey-hole. That was a real face of “courage”.

“Had he done so, we would have thrown the ultimate book at him. But our people, our prosecutors don’t feel that’s the case.”

I absolutely marvel at how he can change tenses so effortlessly.

During a weekend with lawmakers at Camp David in the midst of the war, Bush was disgusted by a scene in the movie “Black Hawk Down” in which the Clinton administration refuses to give American soldiers heavy armor to defend themselves in Somalia.

The difference here is that Les Aspin took the blame for the failure to approve Bradley Fighting Vehicles and AC-130 gunships for Somalia. Too bad that Bush can’t show the same amount of disgust for Condoleeza Rice, the FBI, and the CIA for their failure to see 9/11. See, it’s easy to play Monday Morning Quarterback.

The book also examines the question of whether Bush was transformed by Sept. 11 or whether he is the same man he always was.

I believe that he is still the same callow, brainless tool of big oil and Dick Cheney that he always was. So, it seems that somethings didn’t change on 9/11.

So look for Sammon’s new book at neighborhood bookstore…or just wait a few months and pick it up on the $1 remainder tables with the rest of the fiction.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....