Sorry. Our religion says “sit your fat ass on the couch, eat Lil Debbie Cakes, watch Nickelodeon, and get juvenile diabetes”

Fox News (they distort, you deride) reports that some parents, suffering from profound retardation, are being denied their rights to raise equally developmentally-stunted children because their local school district is teaching Yoga, which is clearly a religion.

“It’s a church and state issue,” Steve Woodrow, the father of a first grader, said.

Woodrow, pastor of the First Baptist Church of Aspen, Colo., became upset when his daughter’s public school announced that yoga classes would begin this fall. He and other parents complained to the school board, claiming it was a clear violation of the separation of church and state.

“If you study yoga its roots clearly are within Hinduism,” Woodrow said.

Woodrow then sat on the porch of his tarpaper shack plucking tunelessly on his banjo while grinning a toothless grin, and waving at tourists as they took his picture thereby stealing what was left of his shrivelled and seldom-used soul.

He later announced plans to grow an opposable digit on at at least one hand, probably the one he scratches with.