And thusly did Al Gore harshly criticize President Bush’s push for war against Iraq

If you aren’t already reading Mark Morford … you’re just wasting your time on the internet. How you can pass up writing like this?:

He went on to blame the oily junior Texan grammar-mangler for plunging us “like some sort of squinty cowboy-wannabe on Ritalin” (quote spurious) toward a world that would allow any ol’ second-rate piss-ant nation to launch an expensive macho whiny military strike against whomever it likes and call itself a superpower, even if it doesn’t have all the kickass sorority parties and the 50-percent obesity rate and the gold-trimmed 8 mpg Escalades with the cute little antenna flags.

and this:

Polishing off his fifth scotch in about two gulps and slamming the glass down on the podium and muttering that Bush is a “likable niddering sycophantic imbecile who couldn’t screw in a lightbulb without Cheney, much less spell ‘niddering’ or ‘sycophantic,'” Gore, possibly dressed in faded Sean John khakis and black Ugg boots and an “Evildoer” T-shirt, did not go on to say how he truly believes Dick’s defibrillator is powered by tiny frantic radioactive demon-monkeys running on little alien treadmills from Hell. But he should have.

Stuff like this makes me feel like I’m just scratching petroglyphs on a wall in some cave.