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The most powerful Amendment of them all

Photo by Dunechaser

Photo by Dunechaser

Naturally, Republicans in Congress are so protective of the Second Amendment (so powerful they never read the first clause) that the right to bear arms extends even to things that are not actually guns.

Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas) introduced legislation this week to block federal funding for schools that enforce rules that punish students for playing with imaginary weapons.


Naturally, this is called the “Student Protection Act“.


Finally, the nation’s most pressing issue is addressed.

Next up, Stockman introduces a law to mandate every child get a free pack of candy cigarettes.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .