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Late Night: Republicans Are So Totally Over Republicans

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Republicans are trying to break up with Mitt Romney, but the pre-nup was pretty intense:  

On the Sunday talk shows, senior Republicans, former Romney surrogates and prominent conservatives piled on their defeated presidential nominee for telling donors that he lost because President Obama bought off minorities and young voters with “gifts.”

“It’s nuts,” said former House Speaker Newt Gingrich on ABC’s “This Week.” “I mean, first of all, it’s insulting. … The job of a political leader in part is to understand the people. If we can’t offer a better future that is believable to more people, we’re not going to win.”

Rumored 2016 presidential hopefuls in the party saw an opportunity to distance themselves from Romney.

“I absolutely reject what he said,” said Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal on “Fox News Sunday.” “We as a Republican Party have to campaign for every single vote. If we want people to like us we have to like them first. And you don’t start to like people by saying their votes were bought.”

Until you started losing elections, you didn’t have a problem with any of this at all.

Until it started costing you at the ballot box and the piggy bank, until people started to cross the street to get away from you, you were absolutely fine with being the party of racists, sexists, general jerkbags, warmongers, vulture capitalists, ignorant-ass ‘necks and everybody who’s vaguely creeped out every time they overhear someone speaking Spanish in the grocery store.

That’s your base. It’s been your base for four solid decades. Mitt Romney ran an entire convention appealing to exactly those people, and you said dick. You were fine with it as long as he was gonna win the election according to Karl Rove’s super-secret math. Then he went out there and lost, and was pissed about it, and said slightly more bluntly that I BUILT THAT, and magically it was beyond the pale and demeaning to the future of your magnificent party.

“It’s been well said that you have a political problem when the voters don’t like you, but you’ve got a real problem when the voters think you don’t like them,” said conservative columnist George Will on ABC’s “This Week.” “Quit despising the American people.”

Considering you made your bones penning mash notes to Ronald Reagan, who had zero problems pointing out classes of people to be despised, this is a bit rich, George. But Reagan was charming when he did it, unlike glum old Mitt, and he won elections, so that makes it okay.

The entire RNC was about ownership, about owning a business and taking responsibility for it. Yet the minute the election went the way everybody but that unskewed polls asshole knew it was going to go, Republicans were torching the place on their way out.

They owned Mitt Romney wholly, and would have continued to do so if he’d won. They shouldn’t be able to get away from him in his loss.


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Allison Hantschel

Allison Hantschel

Allison Hantschel is a 10-year veteran of the newspaper business. She publishes First Draft, a writing and politics blog, with her partners Holden, Jude and Scout. She is the author of the books Chicago's Historic Irish Pubs (2011, Arcadia Publishing, with Mike Danahey) and It Doesn’t End With Us: The Story of the Daily Cardinal, about a great liberal journalism institution (2007, Heritage Books). She also edited the anthology “Special Plans: The Blogs on Douglas Feith and the Faulty Intelligence That Led to War” (2005, William, James & Co.) Her work has appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, the Daily Southtown, Sirens Magazine, and Alternet. She lives in Chicago with her husband, two ferrets, and approximately 60 tons of books.