Seeing a Flock of Moons
Never do I feel so powerless and deflated in my role as a citizen as I do toward the end of an election season, but 2012 is quickly reaching a new level of awfulness. I just can’t wait for this to be over. From the top of the ticket on down (except for a few bright spots I’ll get to later), the dispiriting sense that “winning” can only be called such because losing is flat-out unthinkable, given that almost half of the electorate is evidently willing and eager to elect into office a party that holds them in utter contempt.
Worse, virtually no one in the media is pointing this out. Daily, we have Republican candidates essentially mooning the electorate instead of making the most cursory attempt to engage it, and thinking that, with a whole lot of money, that might work. That Republicans intended to respond to criticism by sticking their asses out the window was clear from the start, when a Romney surrogate proudly announced that they weren’t going to let their campaign be “dictated by fact-checkers,” but the plan was set in stone when Ann Romney responded to queries about her voluminous tax returns by turning around and hiking up her skirt. (Metaphorically, of course. She is a Republican.)
The next time the cheeks got out in the breeze, they were those of Mitt Romney himself, although in the end (no pun intended) it was an uppity servant that pulled down his magic underwear and opened the window. (Seriously, Mitt…. If you’re too chicken to hang a BA at the grabby 47%, how are you going to handle the terrorists?) By this time, they’d gotten a bus with specially equipped windows to tour the Swing States, into which piled Todd Akin, Donald Trump, Richard Mourdock, Sheldon Adelson, the Kochs, Allen West, Joe Walsh, and the rest. The media response? That Paul Ryan guy has a nice ass, particularly for a Republican. (Now we know why Chris Christie switched to Obama; the windows were too small…)
Not that lefties like myself hadn’t seen enough of Obama’s ass to be able to draw it from memory, whether it was when we wanted some banksters discomfited, some torturers punished, or some wars stopped, but at least when campaigning, he does turn around and face us once in a while. Confronted with the reality that Obama is likely to be reelected, Republicans have decided to only let us see them from behind ad nauseam. Voter suppression. Threatening letters from employers. Money dumps in long-lost states. Serially debunked lies, repeated ever more loudly.
The good news is that in most cases such repellent tactics are having the opposite of success; the bad news is that generally, we only get to pick which ass is the least repulsive.
There are exceptions, though, which ought to make us all feel a bit better about the whole unseemly spectacle. Elizabeth Warren may well get Scott Brown’s once-famous ass out of our faces, and Patrick Murphy may well force Allen West to pull his pants up, too. If things go well, we also might not have to marvel at the derrieres of Tommy Thompson, Joe Walsh, Michele Bachmann, and a few others. Let’s quit looking at their asses, and hand them to them.
Although it doesn’t matter nearly as much as it ought to, voting still matters, and I am doing so (by mail, it’s Oregon…) as we speak. It’s better than howling at the moon(s).
Photo by Kevin under Creative Commons license.