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Your fierce advocate of not giving a damn

Todd Akin via DonkeyHotey at

Oh dear, Todd Akin, this year’s Christine O’Donnell, who was 2010’s Sarah Palin, who was 2008’s — well we could keep doing this back to Theodore Bilbo and beyond — where was I?  Oh yes, Todd Akin made the mistake of saying what he actually believes.

Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) told a local television station on Sunday that “legitimate rape” rarely produces pregnancy because “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

He believes it because he’s dumb and horrible — just like his old buddy, Paul Ryan.

Of course, once you say something patently stupid and offensive, the thing to do is to say you didn’t mean it — even though you totally believe it.

In reviewing my off-the-cuff remarks, it’s clear that I misspoke in this interview and it does not reflect the deep empathy I hold for the thousands of women who are raped and abused every year. Those who perpetrate these crimes are the lowest of the low in our society and their victims will have no stronger advocate in the Senate to help ensure they have the justice they deserve.

Unless, of course, those women who are raped would choose to exercise their right not to have their rapist’s child, then we all know who Todd Akin will fiercely advocate for — not them.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .