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Aiyeeeee

In addition to his other, uh, non-positives we are now receiving information on how foreign policy novice, Paul Ryan, is having his empty Eddie Munsteresque-vessel filled.

Because nothing succeeds like perpetually proclaiming success.

Next up, Ryan gets his military training by watching Stars Earn Stripes.*

 

*(Surely the winner of the Emmy for Most Offensive Program, sorry Honey Boo Boo)

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Attaturk

Attaturk

In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .

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