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Late Night: Killing the Squirrels

Every Monday Tommy T over at my homebase wades through the worst of the Free Republic sludge for edification and mockery. It’s a thankless job that provides us valuable insight into what the 29 percent of some kind of lunatics are thinking on a weekly basis, and this week they seem to be thinking LET THE MOTHERFUCKER BURN:

To: neverdem

A Treasury default would be worse than the financial crisis of 2008.For who? Those of us living in the bombed out aftermath are already eating squirrel for supper a couple of times a week. They gonna kill the squirrels?

The nation and the financial system needs a tonic to clean out the dreck.

Then, we can begin, again, older, wiser, and poorer. You know, the way humans learn things, for a short time.

/johnny

4 posted on Saturday, July 16, 2011 12:58:37 AM by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)

First of all, I love the nihilistic wish-fulfillment aspect of this. I read a lot of post-apocalyptic lit and come in contact with its fanboys, and the some of them clearly are just dying for the world to explode so that they can be kings. Sure, in this life they’re pathetic Cheeto-dusted losers, but when the earth caves in and we really NEED somebody who’s read every issue of Soldier of Fortune cover to cover to run our new proto-colony of nuclear holocaust survivors, then we’ll be sorry. Then every hot club girl who wouldn’t blow them will HAVE TO so she can get her ration of flour for the day, and won’t that be just and correct?

(You ever notice, by the way, that these Internet Tough Guys are all about teaching someone ELSE a lesson? Nobody’s ever like, “You know, maybe *I* need to learn myself some stuff.” It’s always, “You need to learn a lesson, which will cost me nothing.” Every rich prick on the planet likes to bore on about the character-building aspects of hunger over a full dinner plate. You only ever wish doom on others when you think you’ll escape it yourself.)

Second of all, this is in fact the Republican Tea People’s mantra at this point: KILL THE SQUIRRELS. Take the last few vestiges of hope anyone has, and shoot it from the tree where you sit with your six-pack. Make sure nobody has anything left to eat. Only then will we truly know government has been tamed. It’s not even burning the village to save it, it’s just burning it to burn it.

This guy’s not wrong, exactly, though as Tommy points out, if you’ve got an Internet connection and the time to post to Freeperville obviously you don’t have too many problems we care about. The country is pretty bombed-out right now. People ARE eating squirrels, or just starving to death, or just dying in poverty, or just living in some relative’s basement after selling all their possessions because that’s how things go these days. And people in charge really do want to kill the squirrels, to make things that are bad even worse.

It’s just not going to turn out to be the awesome comeuppance for OTHERS that he thinks it’s going to be. Wishing for worse means assuming it’s never going to turn around on you, and in the history of everything that’s never been a safe bet.

A.

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Allison Hantschel

Allison Hantschel

Allison Hantschel is a 10-year veteran of the newspaper business. She publishes First Draft, a writing and politics blog, with her partners Holden, Jude and Scout. She is the author of the books Chicago's Historic Irish Pubs (2011, Arcadia Publishing, with Mike Danahey) and It Doesn’t End With Us: The Story of the Daily Cardinal, about a great liberal journalism institution (2007, Heritage Books). She also edited the anthology “Special Plans: The Blogs on Douglas Feith and the Faulty Intelligence That Led to War” (2005, William, James & Co.) Her work has appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, the Daily Southtown, Sirens Magazine, and Alternet. She lives in Chicago with her husband, two ferrets, and approximately 60 tons of books.

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