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Fine Mitterature

Your front runner in the GOP race ladies and gentlemen — and what a good start he got off to this week as he announced his candidacy — losing out to a grifter’s magic bus.

Romney, surely a child of privilege if their ever was one — presently the ripe ol’ age of 64 (ripe for the service in Vietnam he avoided — instead he took his Mormon Mission in…SOUTHERN FRANCE!) still manages to play the “hawkier than thou” card for other peoples kids dying.

Those patriots who are on the battlefields today or have gone to battlefields in the past, some never to return, have left us a stronger country

Um, despite their sacrifice, the tragedies of Vietnam and Iraq and by now Afghanistan have done no such thing. Much like Mitt’s battles against drinking wine in Bordeaux.

But the man has grown, “Battleship Earth” is no longer his favorite book — now he prefers the “Twilight Series

Mitt, will you never learn? Literacy is not a selling point on the GOP campaign trail, you could email Bachmann and ask, but, well, you know…

I suppose you could say you love the Bible most of all…oh wait.

At least you’re still liked in your birthstate of Michigan...oh right.

Well, still a better start than Gingrich.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .