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Your Denomination is full of Bolsheviks!

John Wesley, artist's conception via RubensLP at

I guess the War on Christmas, among other battles, is over, because it now appears that the Tea Party’s Christian Right brigade have found the real villain staining modern society.


Um, what now?

Tea Party Nation founder Judson Phillips has a dream: “No more Methodist Church.”

A blog post on his Tea Party Nation page says that on Friday he walked by the United Methodist Building in Washington D.C., which had a sign that said, “Pass the DREAM Act.” Phillips wrote: ” I have a DREAM. That is, no more United Methodist Church.”

Phillips explains that he was formerly a member of the church, but he left because it’s “the first Church of Karl Marx,” and “little more than the “religious” arm of socialism.”

Now, though I’m now as much a Methodist as Marx was, I am a confirmed Methodist. And, I can tell you that the United Methodist Church I attended growing up in Minnesota was the religious choice of those who couldn’t really get too angry about things, literally any thing. Dull and completely safe.

But as they say, first they came for the Methodists and I did nothing, then they came for the Episcopalians…and I realized there would be more tables available when I went out for brunch.

…or something like that.

By the way, well-known Marxist George W. Bush, is a Methodist, General Secretary Dick Cheney goes to a Methodist Church. Something that bothers a lot of Methodists more than Judson Phillips does.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .