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Au contraire

On his radio-show — as opposed to his George Soros-centric televised one (he’s both liberal and [whispers] Jewish, unlike those nice Koch brothers)– Glenn Beck went for the erroneous and passé* (I know, it’s so unlike him):

“I don’t think we came from monkeys. I think that’s ridiculous. I haven’t seen a half-monkey, half-person yet.”

For those of you keeping score about Beck; that’s decoding mysterious gold tablets with your magic hat, Native Americans as lost tribe of Israel, and Jesus’ farewell tour of North America all totally true — but evolution totally false.

But really, no half-human half-monkees ever seen?

Truly the greatest dance sequence since this.

*and also truly the oldest of tropes, humans and other primates share a common ancestry — just like Glenn Beck and Juan Williams now share a common benefactor, Australopithecus Rupertus.

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Attaturk

Attaturk

In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .

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