CommunityFDL Main Blog

Mherhy Cthulmhas! Santa, We Hardly Knew Ye…

Picture 56krampus2

That gift-bearing bearded old man who makes his appearance on Christmas Eve used travel through the northern Alpine regions with his friend Krampus, whose name comes from the High German krampen for claws. While St. Nicholas, a.k.a. Santa Claus, passed out presents to good children, Krampus would either beat the bad ones with chains and sticks or drag them off to hell. The phallocentric, obviously pre-Christian fertility god also chased immoral young women, terrifying them with this long curling tongue while swatting them with a bundle of birch switches while St. Nick looked on approvingly.

Krampus still looking_st. Nicholas looks onPicture 35

Santa had a bad habit in the mid-20th century, one that might get him slapped with his sidekick’s stick nowadays and has thus been replaced by binge-eating platefuls of transfat loaded cookies, gulped down with glass after glass of BGh-altered milk from factory farms:

Picture 32

But really, nothing says Christmas like sitting on Cthulhu’s tentacle…

18175_249365525644_622840644_4804239_6719071_n

LaFiga

Mherhy Cthulmhas! Santa, We Hardly Knew Ye…

Picture 56krampus2

That gift-bearing bearded old man who makes his appearance on Christmas Eve used travel through the northern Alpine regions with his friend Krampus, whose name comes from the High German krampen for claws. While St. Nicholas, a.k.a. Santa Claus, passed out presents to good children, Krampus would either beat the bad ones with chains and sticks or drag them off to hell. The phallocentric, obviously pre-Christian fertility god also chased immoral young women, terrifying them with this long curling tongue while swatting them with a bundle of birch switches while St. Nick looked on approvingly.

Krampus still looking_st. Nicholas looks onPicture 35

Santa had a bad habit in the mid-20th century, one that might get him slapped with his sidekick’s stick nowadays and has thus been replaced by binge-eating platefuls of transfat loaded cookies, gulped down with glass after glass of BGh-altered milk from factory farms.

Picture 32

But really, nothing says Christmas like sitting on Cthulhu’s tentacle…

18175_249365525644_622840644_4804239_6719071_n

Previous post

Merry Christmas, Or, happy birth of the Ever Living / Ever Dying Savior in your own heart

Next post

Merry Swim

Lisa Derrick

Lisa Derrick

Los Angeles native, attended UC Berkeley and Loyola Marymount University before punk rock and logophilia overtook her life. Worked as nightclub columnist, pop culture journalist and was a Hollywood housewife before writing for and editing Sacred History Magazine. Then she discovered the thrill of politics. She also appears frequently on the Dave Fanning Show, one of Ireland's most popular radio broadcasts.