Every unhappy co-presidency is unhappy in its own way

Dick Cheney is going to fuck George Bush up

It is going to come as quite a blow to George W. Bush when he finds out that Dick Cheney was faking his orgasms for their entire second term together because  Cheney is now telling anyone who will listen to him what a fucking pussy Bush was:

Cheney’s disappointment with the former president surfaced recently in one of the informal conversations he is holding to discuss the book with authors, diplomats, policy experts and past colleagues. By habit, he listens more than he talks, but Cheney broke form when asked about his regrets.

"In the second term, he felt Bush was moving away from him," said a participant in the recent gathering, describing Cheney’s reply. "He said Bush was shackled by the public reaction and the criticism he took. Bush was more malleable to that. The implication was that Bush had gone soft on him, or rather Bush had hardened against Cheney’s advice. He’d showed an independence that Cheney didn’t see coming. It was clear that Cheney’s doctrine was cast-iron strength at all times — never apologize, never explain — and Bush moved toward the conciliatory."

And now comes the ugly unsealed divorce records just like Jack & Jeri Ryan:

"If he goes out and writes a memoir that spills beans about what took place behind closed doors, that would be out of character," said Ari Fleischer, who served as White House spokesman during Bush’s first term.

Yet that appears to be precisely Cheney’s intent. Robert Barnett, who negotiated Cheney’s book contract, passed word to potential publishers that the memoir would be packed with news, and Cheney himself has said, without explanation, that "the statute of limitations has expired" on many of his secrets. "When the president made decisions that I didn’t agree with, I still supported him and didn’t go out and undercut him," Cheney said, according to Stephen Hayes, his authorized biographer. "Now we’re talking about after we’ve left office. I have strong feelings about what happened. . . . And I don’t have any reason not to forthrightly express those views."

Tentatively titled Killing Some Arabs, Cheney’s book will describe his estrangement from Bush, how sad and isolated he was, and it will  document what it is like to shoot a man in the face. Oh, and it will conclude:

For everything to be consummated, for me to feel less alone, I had only to wish that there be a large crowd of spectators the day of my execution and that they greet me with cries of hate

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....